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By Clint Haskins
When most people think about meals in prison several things probably come to mind. The chow hall where open seats are hard to come by and invitations to sit are even less. Where what’s on the menu is not even close to what is served or what you imagined. Where eyes are open and awareness is high. Where hunger is a must in order to eat.
Here at the Wyoming State Penitentiary meals are like that in a lot of ways. What most people don’t realize is that there is another option. We have a canteen, where once a week you can place an order and once a week receive certain food items. It is like a grocery store of sorts. We use the money we earn from our prison jobs, where most inmates earn $30 a month, to purchase these items. We can order some things, but there is a lot we can’t. Some of the things we can order are candy bars, chips and crackers, pop and drink mixes, sweets and candies, tobacco, summer sausages, cheese, any kind of instant food requiring hot water (Ramen noodles, rice, beans and soups). They also offer basic toiletries and personal items such as socks and underwear. I guess you could say it is like our 7-11!
There are certain occasions here where we choose not to go to the chow hall. It could be anything from a birthday to Monday Night Football. We could also just have “natural fish” on the menu, where there isn’t anything natural about the fish.
The list I mentioned may seem pretty basic but what we can do with what’s on the list is not. When we choose to stay in for dinner we make what we call a “spread.” A spread entails many things, but most of all creativity. I usually do the cooking so I will run down a basic Monday night spread designed to feed ten people so you can see what we do when we decide to “dine in.”
I start by gathering the ingredients from all the guys that will attend, everyone pitches in. I crush eight Ramen noodle packets and take the seasonings out. Then I dice one jalapeno summer sausage and one small block of Velveeta Hot Mexican Cheese. When possible, we get some fresh vegetables from the fellas in the kitchen, which is special, and I dice those up too. I get two new small trash bags, put one inside the other, and place these items in the bags. I add two packages of instant refried beans and two packages of instant chili rice. Then I put just the right amount and combination of seasoning packets in and mix thoroughly. Next the technical part, adding just the right amount of hot water to reach the desired consistency. Then I twist and tie the bags and place inside a coat to cook.
In approximately fifteen to twenty minutes it is done. At that time, I get another large, clean trash bag and tear it to fit over the table. I open two bags of tortilla chips and spread on the table in a large circle. Finally I pour the mixture over the chips nacho style. I finish it off with one small container of liquid jalapeno cheese spread and ring the dinner bell.
That is what we call a spread. All total it costs $15.84 for ten servings. I have had several enjoyable evenings filled with good laughs and good stories over a spread. Next time you are trying to decide what to do for dinner maybe this will give you a new idea. Where else can you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet with ten friends for just $1.58 per person. Remember, it’s not what you have it’s what you make of what you have.
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